Dear Emily,
I love you so very much! I really, really do. You are one of the sweetest, most caring, FUNNY girls I know!! Almost every moment of my every day is filled with great love, admiration and honor because I am yours and you are mine.
However. Bedtime hell has set in.
We put you down, you don't want to go down.
You either need something in your tummy,
or your thirsty,
or you need to change your nightgown,
or you went pee pee (in your diaper... which is a whole different story)
or you want snuggles (which of course I love snuggling you, but not when it's already an hour and a half past your bedtime!!!)
or you need another book,
or you think theres bugs in your room,
or you want one more smooch and hug,
etc,
etc,
etc.
The thing is, when 7:00 rolls around, this mom of yours is quite ready to be off duty. I have put in my solid hours for the day, and I'm tired. I want to check out and do something, or nothing. I want to breath. I want to have an adult conversation with your dad about life without many, many interruptions. I want to be. I need to be.
I know you don't understand this yet, and right now you think this is all a fun game of seeing how late you can stall. But my dear, this has got to stop. I'm so sorry.
I love you with my whole being.
I feel as though every ounce of my mothering is selfless. But I need to rest, to recharge, to be done come bed time.
So tonight. Good luck- because bedtime comes at 7 and by 7:30 I will be done reading you books, changing diapers, getting you water, tucking your toys in to bed, getting you the perfect hair tie and on and on... I love you. And I know when you are a mother, you will understand. And this blog is so that you have a place to look back. And while I hope you don't look back and see(read about) a frazzled mother- I want you to know that in the midst of all the wonderful times, there are also some very hard, exhausting times - and that's okay. And they will pass. And we will get through. And that... well, that is life.
Oh- and I know this might sound odd, but I can already tell that you're going to be an amazing mother one day. For real. You are so caring, so creative, and so thoughtful! I believe in you already, and I will believe in you when you're doubting your every motherly decision and sleep deprived. You've got this!
I Love you.
Hang in there, mama. Do whatchya gotta do. Without bedtimes, mommys can't be who they need to be in the day time.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great, friend. And Emily-- this is your MIL writing to you: you're hilarious. Really? Bugs in your room? Hahaha! How about you come over and play with Bus until you just pass out from being so tired? OK, sounds good. Then while you two run around, your mom and I can sip some fermented grape juice and enjoy some time with one another.
ReplyDeleteAlso, today (June 1st) we went to the Coniglio's house (Colson Coniglio's mama and dada's house in San Jose) and we had such a fun time! Well you really surprised me while we were there. You are such a quiet little one (for the most part). People should not be fooled by your seemingly passiveness-- you are one tough cookie and don't get pushed around. I think you get that from both of your parents. Anyway, Colson came out and asked me where his drum was. You were busy watering the dirt and weeds (I thought that was hilarious) and you acted like you weren't paying attention at all (why would you need to? You were busy watering plants and making stuff happen!).
So, I told Colson, "I dunno Buddy, I don't know where your other drum is." And you whip your head around and say: "It's in the house."
You are so quick-witted just like your parents. You amaze me every time I'm with you at your nurturing skills with Mags, and your sweet demeanor with Bus. You are so special to me, Miss Emily! I love you so so much.
Auntie Bonnie
(p.s. That name's gonna be weird when you marry Bus. But you'll be living in Texas and it will probably be overlooked.) You'll get that joke someday.