Quick Selfie...

Just real quick... In times of transition, stress and change I tend to switch up my hair. So... last night after the girls were in bed I randomly found myself cutting my hair (about 6 inches) and then after that I dyed it. :) Now that was 2 unexpected hours of fun and quite a stress reliever! Now, hopefully my hair is cut in a straight line... that's a different story. But even if it's not, I'll just call it artsy. haha. I love that anything goes these days and I'm already noticing how shorter hair is much more manageable with little girls- not to mention it got pulled about 150 less times today. Winning!!! 

Bedtime hell

Dear Emily,
I love you so very much! I really, really do. You are one of the sweetest, most caring, FUNNY girls I know!! Almost every moment of my every day is filled with great love, admiration and honor because I am yours and you are mine.

However. Bedtime hell has set in.

We put you down, you don't want to go down.

You either need something in your tummy,

or your thirsty,

or you need to change your nightgown,

or you went pee pee (in your diaper... which is a whole different story)

or you want snuggles (which of course I love snuggling you, but not when it's already an hour and a half past your bedtime!!!)

or you need another book,

or you think theres bugs in your room,

or you want one more smooch and hug,

etc,

etc,

etc.


The thing is, when 7:00 rolls around, this mom of yours is quite ready to be off duty. I have put in my solid hours for the day, and I'm tired. I want to check out and do something, or nothing. I want to breath. I want to have an adult conversation with your dad about life without many, many interruptions. I want to be. I need to be.

I know you don't understand this yet, and right now you think this is all a fun game of seeing how late you can stall. But my dear, this has got to stop. I'm so sorry.

I love you with my whole being.

I feel as though every ounce of my mothering is selfless. But I need to rest, to recharge, to be done come bed time.

So tonight. Good luck- because bedtime comes at 7 and by 7:30 I will be done reading you books, changing diapers, getting you water, tucking your toys in to bed, getting you the perfect hair tie and on and on... I love you. And I know when you are a mother, you will understand. And this blog is so that you have a place to look back. And while I hope you don't look back and see(read about) a frazzled mother- I want you to know that in the midst of all the wonderful times, there are also some very hard, exhausting times - and that's okay. And they will pass. And we will get through. And that... well, that is life.

Oh- and I know this might sound odd, but I can already tell that you're going to be an amazing mother one day. For real. You are so caring, so creative, and so thoughtful! I believe in you already, and I will believe in you when you're doubting your every motherly decision and sleep deprived. You've got this!

I Love you.