This is all getting so real...

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers lately, and again today. I really, really liked the Plastic Surgeon and his team! I am confident I am in great hands! 

Also, I have cried more today than I have in a long time. Listening to the details and scenarios and also realizing HOW many unknowns there still are until they are in my face was quite a big pill to swallow. This is a major surgery and it’s gonna rock my world for the next 6-12 months. 

The Dr. and his whole team were SO kind to me. They told me they hated that I was there and the reason why I was there. They hated how long I’ve been on this journey. They reminded me that I am so young for this and that this is major surgery. They also reminded me I am beautiful and they reassured me that they will do all they can to put me back together as best as they can. 

I know I’m in great hands! 

Please pray that the tumors are controlled and the roots haven’t spread too deep or wide. Also please pray for peace in my body and my mind. This is BY FAAAAR the most horrific and unnerving journey I have ever walked and my face is breaking out in painful sores that are caused by stress. I hear the “you are so brave” comments and I appreciate that but please know I am so freaked out as well!!!! True story, I turned white as a ghost and almost passed out at one point during our consultation today. This is all just nuts. 

I truly can’t believe this is part of my story....

Keep Mom in the Picture!!!

Team Laing had date afternoon. Emily and Will went to lunch and Margaret and I had some time together. 

Those who’ve known me since I became a mom 9.5 years ago you’ve heard me encourage us to all “keep mom in the picture”. So often “mom” is the one taking the picture, feeling haggard, and I’ve been such a believer and made such an effort to keep myself and other moms in the picture. Our kids will want to look back and see us beside them, in all seasons.

I won’t lie. 

Being in pictures right now is the last thing I want to do. My scabs and scars and unknowns stare at me and make me want to put a bag over my head and crumble. 

But. 

I will never have this moment again. 

So although I’m weary, 

I want to be in the picture. 

I want to push through the fear. 

I am so reminded that we all have broken pieces in our lives. 

I am so thankful that when we are broken, God gets to be our strength. 

I am so so soooo thankful that we don’t have to walk through life alone. 

This girl loves so big. 

I love our time spent together!

Mohs Consult

Mohs Surgeon consult went well. 

We really liked her. 

She feels like she needs to bring a Facial Plastic Surgeon in once she removes the cancer in full so that he can do the reconstruction. 

Remember Mohs surgery is a 99+% cure rate (praise the lord). 

With working with two surgeons and their schedules we are looking at surgery in November. 

Hopefully we will have date set in next few days. Then we will have consult with Plastic Surgeon. 

In this picture you see the “smallest” she believes my hole will be. She said she was trying to remain optimistic with her grouping but we are definitely looking at this area being removed. 

We will have lots of questions for plastic surgeon. 

I feel VERY relieved that I have a little time before surgery to wrap my mind around this and prepare. William would prefer surgery tomorrow- so we are just walking this as graciously as we can. 

I have Infiltrative Basal Cell Skin Cancer... ON MY FACE!

Well this is a post I never wanted to write. 

I have skin cancer. 



But, here we are. 

Long story, or short story…. I’ll try to fall in the middle here. 

I’ve had a strange spot on my upper lip for a few years and I had been working with a dermatologist in regards to it. This last year I have been working so much on whole body health that I knew this spot needed to be seen by new eyes. I sought out a new dermatologist and 3 days before leaving for Germany I was able to get in with her. 

It was in that meeting that she told me she believed that what was on my lip was Skin Cancer and she wanted to do a biopsy. As tears were streaming because I was NOT expecting that, we were talking about how to go about the biopsy and I innocently asked if it mattered that I was leaving the country for two weeks…. she absolutely did not want to send me out of the country with an open wound. We scheduled my biopsy for first thing the Monday morning I returned and she felt HORRIBLE for saying she believed it was skin cancer and that we couldn’t do the biopsy for two weeks. She begged me to not let it ruin my trip and first thing when I saw her Monday she apologized again…. let me tell ya, this was a LOT for William and I to digest in those 2 weeks I was gone. A total fight of fear. A lot to process.

Many people seem to separate Skin Cancer into main groups “good kinds” and “bad kinds”… thankfully I have a “good kind”…. just the most intense kind of a good kind…. and it’s in a tricky spot. 

I have Infiltrative Basal Cell Skin Cancer on my lip/ upper lip. 

William and I will be meeting with a Mohs Surgeon tomorrow for a consultation and then we will work on securing a phenomenal facial plastic surgeon for reconstruction (this is the part I am most concerned about since Mohs surgery is a 99+% cure rate…. it’s the putting me back together on my face/smile that makes me most uneasy). 



I literally have no answers past this. No answers on when surgery will be, how quick this will go- but I’ll update as we learn. I am confident that God has opened phenomenal doors for us and that he is very much in this. That the medical care that we have been receiving has been superb and that we are on the right path. Even today at Trader Joes the checker man could tell I was off and started asking me caring questions which left me in tears and he grabbed and gifted me a gorgeous bouquet. Little blessings along the way! 

<3 



Tonight we told the girls the news and they seemed to do very well with it. We were straight forward and kept letting them guide with question asking. This will be a journey and walk of faith for them as well, but I am grateful we get to do this together. We promised them that we are learning beside them, that they can ask questions, that it’s okay to cry, and that we are all in this together. We also talked at great length about the fact that we believe in The Lord and that He can use ALL things for his good…. and that this news did not leave him panicking. 

From what I have been warned, the surgery and recovery will be pretty gnarly, but we are up for getting this cancer OUT of my body!!! Mohs surgery has a 99+% cure rate, so we will trust the facts and walk as boldly as we can towards that. 

Main question I’ve been getting is “how are you?” 
I’m a mixed bag of emotions. I am all over the place. I have been having my good days and bad days, but I KNOW that I will face this head on and that I have a seriously incredible army of people around me that will rally and pray!!!! I’ve realized it’s okay to not be okay… and my main reason for wanting to share this publicly is because I am not good with faking being okay. Life is tough, my darling, but so are you!!!! We all have stuff and it looks different for all of us, but together, we are stronger. I am not my trials. Neither are you. One day, one hour, one minute at a time…. we can do this!!!! <3



Before I go, I want to be sure to say, if I am slow to respond to you or don’t respond at all, please don’t take that personally. This has already proven to be a very overwhelming time and my focus has to be on taking care of me, my upcoming care, as well as on our family. I will of course read and listen to all messages of love and encouragement, I just already see myself slipping behind my replies and don’t want anyone to take that personally!!!! xoxo